Workplace Self Esteem

What a huge topic. A naive me thinks of self-esteem as the way we look at ourselves in the mirror, or how well we perform at a hockey game, dance performance or deliver a speech. Really, the relationship we have with ourselves and our levels of self-esteem plays a role in every aspect of our lives. 

Often as children our parents or loved ones would tell us how wonderful, great, and one-of-a-kind we are. “Look at Sally, she knows her alphabet already! Isn’t she clever!” – “Annie, your hair is so beautiful! You look just like a princess!” And we believed it!

“It is an absolute human certainty that no one can know his own beauty or perceive a sense of his own worth until it has been reflected back to him in the mirror of another loving, caring human being.”

John Joseph Powell

Anyone would thrive in life if they had people still commending and praising them as much as they had as a child. As adults, we don’t have our parents watching our every move and we don’t have people telling us how great we are all of the time. If not nurtured in a healthy way, our self-esteem can take a battering and over time this can reduce the quality of our lives in many different ways. Unchecked, low self-esteem may even lead to mental health issues such as anxiety and depression, sometimes with tragic results. 

For some of us, it can be up to us now to build or rebuild foundations of strength in our self-esteem. 

Our self-esteem is tried on a daily basis, and often there is no more a trying place than work. The pace of work demands can be so fast that no one stops to acknowledge even excellent performance. The demand for productivity has grown significantly and no one feels they are doing enough. We work an unprecedented number of hours which encroaches on our downtime and deprives us of the most restorative of experiences – connecting with self, friends, and family.

The workplace is no longer an arena in which people can count on fortifying their sense of self. Instead, it can be and has become a major source of stress for many people, especially women – vying to be treated as equals with our male counterparts. 

Let’s look at how we can begin to build up our self-worth while at work:

Cut the Negative Self Talk

Easier said than done but no-one ever got better at anything by beating themselves up. Talk to yourself kindly, and encouragingly, rather than ragging on yourself for making mistakes. A positive mindset and optimism can help us learn more easily and will boost confidence. 

According to a study published in Clinical Psychology Review, optimism is closely linked to resilience. Resilience is the ability to ‘bounce back’ following a disappointment, loss or stressor with minimal long-term impact. With better resilience, we are more likely to regain self esteem in a profound way. 

Stay Sharp

A sure-fire way of being more certain of what you’re doing is to learn more. Read up on the latest research to enhance your knowledge. Knowing how and why certain practices and processes work can boost confidence in your ability to do them.

This article delves deeper into ways we can brush up on our skills while we are at work.

Build those Strengths

A great confidence boost can be to focus on your strengths rather than your weaknesses. Accept what you already do well, and make an effort to refine your strength. 

Ask Questions

Never be afraid to ask questions when you don’t know something. Doing a task incorrectly because you don’t fully understand it is no way to raise self-esteem. Asking questions shows you are humble, proactive and lowers the risk of mistakes being made. 

Blow your own Trumpet

It’s so fine to let people know when we get a win, at least in small doses. We don’t walk around bragging about everything in front of friends and family, but at work, we can build your own confidence by pointing out, in a matter-of-fact way, that you were the one who accomplished something for the company. A healthy, respectful amount of self-acknowledgement can be rewarding. 

Speak Up

This is not a recommendation to remove our filters completely and just chime in with whatever comes to our minds, but a lack of confidence is often a bottleneck that keeps us from saying what we really think. By stating our view in a meeting – in a respectful way, of course, we can build our confidence by reinforcing that what we think is important and relevant. 

Smile

People with confidence tend to smile more, but it’s a learned skill. When we walk around the office, let’s make an effort to smile, greet others, and ask about their day. The change in attitude about what is going on around the office can build our own confidence because having a better outlook is contagious. People should react happily in return, reinforcing the good vibes you are putting out there.

Every woman that finally figured out her worth, has picked up her suitcases of pride and boarded a flight to freedom, which landed in the valley of change.

Shannon L. Alder